Get Crunk!
by hikari4luv
Summary: Bartz You Beer LOL! A little of BartzXReader


Based in the world of FFV. According to the end of Dissidia, I think everyone goes back to their final fantasy, or that's what make sense.

Stuff in (…) is FF info and stuff in [[[…]]] is history or whatever explanation as to certain things because I'm assuming that Square based FFV off of Medieval times. Bear with me, cuz I'm not as smart as I like to think I am. Lol.

I never finished FFV, even though I was close, because my friend barrowed it and than he moved. Sad face. . So if the ending doesn't allow for this to happen, who gives a damn because I'm pimp like that! … I only wish….

"Let's get drunk!!" Bartz cheered.

This officially had to be his worst idea yet, and that was saying a lot for him. For someone that's turning 20*, he sure doesn't act it.

(Bartz is like 19 in Final Fantasy V and 17 in Dissidia, or so I've heard)

"That's a terrible idea, Bartz," you said shaking your head.

After all the events of V and Dissidia were over, though you weren't supposed to know about that, you began to go venturing with him. Why? For a lack of better words you were lonely and he was close by.

He was often told that people heard his name as the guy who save the world. But that's hard to believe sometimes because immediately after thinking that, people see him fall from his chocobo. You gotta love him for that. Anyways, it was never boring to say the least.

"Why not~?" he said while puffing out his cheeks, "I friggin' saved the world and all of existence from the powers of doooooom and this is what I get?"

You sighed. When he put it that way, there was no denying him. I mean, who could save everything, or help to, and not be allowed a drink.

"Bartz, how can I argue with that?" you whined.

"You can't," he said quickly with a happy grin, "now com'mon, let's go!" he said as he dragged you in the tavern, as it was called at the time. {/that sounds so nerdy! /}

[[[Just a mini brush up on y'alls history, but for those of you who don't know, women who were in bars at that time were considered prostitutes and skanks. Yay! Oh, and y'all is a conjunction between 'you' and 'all'. And yes, I am southern. Back to the story!!]]]

You slunk up to the bar, not really wanting to be here. Both of you planned to stay in this village for a while, so you didn't want to look bad your first night.

Before the end of your thought, Bartz had ordered for each of you. When the beer was placed in front of you, you didn't know weather or not you wanted to drink it.

"You're not gonna drink it?" he asked. You shook your head then noticed that he had already finished his. You just pushed the mug towards him.

He downed it with no problem. Then you heard some old guys from the back.

'Wow, he sure got him a young one!' one said. Yes, you were younger by him, by several years. But what was that supposed to mean exactly?

'I bet she doesn't know any better loving than from that lil' wimp,' the other said. Oh God, they were as bad as you had assumed.

[[[Back in ye olden times it was normal for a guy to marry a girl much younger than him]]]

You sat closer to him to get his attention and to hide from the comments. But we all know that part of Bartz being Bartz meant he wouldn't pick up on the leaving part.

At this time he had at least 5 beers and didn't show any signs of letting up. He didn't show any part of being drunk other than slightly slurred speech, which was barely noticeable.

"Bartz…" you said quietly.

"That's me," he said almost perfectly despite the stack of mugs sitting next to him.

"I… I wanna leave…"you mumbled to him.

"Huh? What chu talking 'bout?" he said and slung an arm around you. "Now come on over here and drink!"

He put the mug up to your lips and began to tip it a bit. Now it was either drink or wear it. You opened your mouth a bit and took it. By the time he stopped you had gotten more than you wanted.

"Well now we can go!" he cheered.

"Huh?" you questioned. With only a half of a mug, the affects were a lot more than you had imagined they would be.

He paid, surprisingly, and pulled you out of the bar. Both of you left stumbling and slightly confused, but he was less drunk than you, amazingly.

"Hey, hey Bartz!" you said trying to get his attention, "let's run away together~!"

"What?" he said leaning up. The both of you were leaning on each other while walking. "We have in a way."

You gasped, "Really!!" you said with a jump of excitement. He nodded and copied your jump to make you laugh. It worked very well, since you last balance laughing and fell onto the ground.

He followed suit and sat next to you. "Why should we run away?"

"Cuz~! I've always wanted to~," you said and let you upper body fall backwards. After a long silence you spoke, "the stars are purdy!"

Both of you sat there, looking up at the sky.

"Bartz, promise me something," you said, to which he nodded. "Don't be all weird like them old guys when you get old, ok?"

"What~? I'm already weird and I'm older than you, so that makes me a weird old guy to you," he said while laughing.

"But~," you began as you rolled over to him, "you're not weird-weird, you're funny weird~!" you said as you hugged him.

He smiled, "that's just cuz I'm awesome like that."

You released him and searched the ground. Bartz looked at you like you were on crack, which meant you were absolutely insane looking. Anyways, when you were finished you grabbed his hand and tied a long blade of grass to it.

"With this rang I do be wed!" you sang and held his arm over your head, feeling slightly immature.

He laughed at you for your ADD train of thought that probably caused this to make sense in your head and the fact that you wouldn't remember this tomorrow.

He kissed your forehead, "We'll talk about it in the morning."

"Hey~!" he said happily as he went to wake you up.

"What," you said with a bit of an unhappy voice considering your headache.

He fake gasped, but you were too tiered to know that, "You don't remember!"

"What don't I remember?" you asked as he neared the bed.

"We're married, silly! We start our honeymoon when you get up~!" he said with a grin before kissing your nose. You blushed and panicked.

"What! Did we...? Who would actually...?" you said while hyperventilating.

Bartz kissed your lips lightly. "Yep now get ready, we have to go sometime~!"

You turned red and just sat in your bed with a blank look on your face.

"Dammit, I thought that was a dream! Son of a hooker, how am I gonna tell my parents this?"

"We're not, remember? We ran away~!" he said with a grin. To him, this joke kept getting better and better.

"But I don't want babies yet!" you cried out.

"Too bad cuz one's on the way~," he told you with a grin.

"I'm… preggo?!?" you squealed. He shrugged. "Bartz, I'm serious!! This is NOT funny."

"Well, I might have lied a little bit~" he said while scratching the back of his head.

"Bartz…!" you said with a glowing aura of absolute doom.

"EEEP!"

FIN!

Ok, so this one turned out very PWP but semi-funny, no?


End file.
